Live Leadership Practice: The Day That Changed My Leadership Style Forever
Like many of you mid-level managers and team leaders, I used to view leadership training as a necessary evil. It felt like a checklist of competencies I had to acquire.
My focus early in my career was entirely on Knowledge and Expertise (Leadership Style 1). I genuinely believed that if I mastered the technical skills, the results would naturally follow. I thought: the more you know, the better you perform.
But that traditional approach quickly delivered inconsistent outcomes in a modern business environment.
I realized I was great at organizing and solving technical problems, but I was failing to motivate or truly connect with my people. My intense focus on technical knowledge overlooked the essential emotional intelligence, adaptability, and relational skills needed to inspire real change.
The ways we led even five years ago are often no longer enough. Leadership evolution demands intentional action and a willingness to move from outdated practices.
I was stuck in the "What do I know?" phase. But the modern question is, "How am I using what I know to make people feel seen, respected, and empowered?".
This is the story of the one live experience that forced me to make the painful but necessary shift toward empathetic, relational leadership. It was where real change began.
The Turning Point – Why Theory Alone Fails
My old approach failed because I treated leadership as a static trait, something fixed. I saw it as a set of rules to memorize, not a fluid, dynamic practice that changes based on the people and the moment.
The Limitations of "Textbook" Leadership
My previous learning was purely theoretical. We discussed abstract models in modules that sounded smart, but they never helped me when decisions were truly complex.
I realized my reliance on transactional leadership tendencies,relying on established routines, rewards, and punishments,was insufficient. It got the tasks done, but it failed to inspire genuine, individualized employee motivation or achieve collective insight. When conflict arose, I would jump straight to fixing the problem. I didn't recognize that people need connection before correction.
The Workshop Invitation
Then came the invitation to a mandatory live training session: “Communicating to Increase Engagement and Cooperation.”.
Honestly, I was deeply skeptical. I thought I already had "good communication skills". I’d been leading teams for years!
But I had to admit I needed to recognize the necessity to adapt my leadership style in accordance with the circumstances at hand.
The Realization
The core truth hit me hard: Leadership is not just about organizing and operating (management). It is a hands-on, interactive practice that requires the participation of all team members.
This transition requires moving beyond just knowing the theory. You must have intentional practice. You must develop the competencies to assess a situation 'in the moment' and respond appropriately.
This was the key to facilitating real change.
Behind-the-Scenes of the Breakthrough Workshop
The shift was profound. The live, in-person environment allowed me to transition from focusing purely on Style 1 (Expertise) to concentrating on Self-Awareness, Purpose, and Well-Being (Style 3).
This is where real change happens.
The Focus: Connection and Collaboration
The workshop’s backbone was a simple, yet powerful principle: Effective leadership must shift its focus from individual expertise to building genuine relationships and fostering collaboration.
The goal was not just to communicate the "what" (the task list). We focused relentlessly on the purpose (the "why"). When people understand the why, they buy in completely, and that creates stronger commitment and urgency.
The Power of In-Person Simulation
What fundamentally changed my perspective was the immersive role-playing and simulation.
This is the core difference. In that room, I couldn't multitask or hide. The requirement to be present and truly listen forced me to be emotionally available for the crucial conversations.
Instead of reading a chapter about empathy, I had to show empathy. I had to truly listen and understand the people being asked to change, balancing my organizational vision with the practical execution they had to manage.
Remember this: When you are forced to practice a skill under pressure, the learning sticks.
Mastering the "3 C's" in Real-Time
The training broke down my major shortcomings,my impatience and my transactional style,into three core skills that we had to master in real-time simulations.
We focused on the 3 C’s of engagement:
1️⃣ Communicate: I learned to communicate support directly and convey the solid business reasons for change. This is crucial for gaining commitment.
2️⃣ Collaborate: I practiced including employees in the decision-making process early on. When you involve them, you strengthen their commitment,it’s now their idea too.
3️⃣ Commit: This was personal. I had to confront my own impatience with results. We practiced being resilient and persistent, understanding that behavioral change takes time.
We created a safe space to fail quickly, adjust, and keep practicing. That opportunity for deliberate practice in a supportive, live environment is why the learning became permanent.
Why In-Person Connection Matters for Modern Leadership
For managers who lead through complex change,which is all of us today,purely digital learning is not enough. In-person training provides the psychological safety and context necessary to truly develop adaptive behaviors.
You cannot develop these crucial relational skills in a vacuum.
Developing Situational Agility
A great leader must be agile. You have to adapt your style depending on the situation.
This adaptability is not learned by passively acquiring competencies on a screen. It is learned by practicing assessing the situation 'in the moment'.
You need to practice choosing the most appropriate influencing style,whether that is Telling, Coaching, Supporting, or Delegating,when the stakes are high. The opportunity to receive immediate feedback and adjust right then and there is essential for true leadership agility. Keep practicing that quick assessment.
Fostering Empathy and Relational Skills
Modern leadership demands leaders who prioritize self-awareness, purpose, and well-being. In-person sessions create an environment to focus on the human side of the business:
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Lead with Empathy: You learn to develop a genuine curiosity about your team members' lives. You practice truly listening, helping to build the foundational relationships required for loyalty and productivity.
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Set Aside Ego: Live feedback forces you to set aside preconceived ideas. Make note of this: stepping past your ego is difficult, but this step actually strengthens your career in the long run.
This live environment creates the safe space needed for this difficult emotional work.
Real-World Validation
The experience becomes real when you see your peers transform alongside you. The skepticism about live training melts away when you see the breakthrough happen in the room.
We hear it all the time from managers who were initially reluctant:
Testimonial: "I realized I was avoiding difficult stakeholders; the simulation showed me exactly how to Sway them by mapping out their need for buy-in."
Testimonial: "Seeing the instructor actively listen without judgment transformed how I approach conflicts. I learned the power of being truly present."
Notice the common thread: They left with confidence in a new behavior, not just a new concept. The in-person connection made the real change happen.
Conclusion: Beyond the Checklist
My transformation,from a purely technical leader to one focused on Connection and Empathy,was cemented in that live training room. That moment changed everything.
It was the day I stopped asking, "What do I know?" and started asking, "How can I inspire and empower?".
The Leadership Choice
The world is evolving rapidly, and leaders who don't let go of outdated approaches risk falling behind.
You have a choice.
You can remain reliant on Style 1 (Knowledge) and risk substitution,simply swapping one framework for another without achieving deep, behavioral change.
Or, you can intentionally invest in the human-centric skills needed to achieve Style 3 (Purpose and Well-being).
If you are skeptical of live training, remember that leadership is a dynamic relationship and a process. It requires deliberate and regular practice. The in-person environment is where the behavioral change, emotional resilience, and adaptability truly stick.
Keep practicing the shift toward intentional connection this week. You'll see real change.
Stop settling for theoretical training. Discover how high-impact, live development can unlock the next level of leadership effectiveness for you and your team.
To your continued growth,
Mike Williams Senior Partner,
